By Guest Writer, Elegy
“Il n’y a point de passion plus égoïste que celle de la luxure.” (Marquis de Sade)
[There is no passion more selfish than lust.
As many wonderful and body accepting women before me have brought up, lingerie feels like one of the few frontiers of my body that is wholly mine. It’s something that is up to my sole interpretation, not the pressures of society, as a whole, and in subcultures- especially when I don’t wear it as outerwear.
Most people will never see it unless I want them to:
I can invent any sort of story I want with my lingerie, it’s a world unto its own. In its own way lingerie unleashes a form of exhibitionism meant for a secret society, one where only the knowing can participate- and only the invited can know. I like that my lingerie is a standalone article, that it can be just as striking and devious as my outerwear. That it elaborates on a layer of complexity (and simplicity), like peeling back layers on a canvas for the rest of the story.
I can have all sorts of ingénue or siren-esque contraptions beneath my outerwear and the world would be none the wiser. No one gets to tell me I’m “too fat” for this,
or “too skinny” for that,
or any number of limiting intentions.
In that silence I can just breathe for a moment- I can just be. If it goes unseen, I can just express a part of my being without censorship for one honest moment in time.
My outer wear may be conservative or constricting for a workplace environment that I’ve fought tooth and nail just to be a part of, but my underwear can house a vixen ready to slip away or conquest at a moment’s notice.
A bulky, ill-fitting and scratchy uniform can wear down on my mode of expression given a long enough week, and fixing myself from the neck up isn’t always enough to combat the drudgery of an unsettling environment. In those disenchanting moments I need something else to jolt me back into the driver’s seat; When I feel the support of my bra, or the cling of my garter, my spirit stirs and I regain my sense of self: “This is who I am.”
I know you must know or have known what it feels like to feel like your spirit is bursting at the seams, crying out against a uniform. Maybe it was thrust upon you in the form of a school uniform, a job uniform, it’s social pressure, maybe it’s an entire false identity you’ve constructed just so you can keep yourself safe. Lingerie is the portal. Lingerie’s your secret- an armor that keeps you protected while it exposes your deepest self.
Lingerie lets you explore different facets of your personality without lasting consequence. Lingerie is the affirmation. Lingerie reminds you that you are more than your outside presentation. Lingerie is the freedom: the minute, adaptable game-changer that keeps you both centered and lifts your feet off the ground.
You just have to force yourself to do the little things that get you through life, and what’s better than having a pick-me-up to make them fun, or at least bearable? Music while cleaning! Dressing to the 9’s to go grocery shopping! My family and I have a running joke now when they see a fashion choice of mine they feel is a little too extravagant for everyday wear. They ask, “Where are you going to wear that?” I give a big grin or sly smirk and quip, “The grocery store!”
Luxe: it does a woman good.
Excellent post, Elegy! I appreciate it. I now want to replace my pathetic panties with luscious lingerie. Who is the beautiful blonde with the prosthetic leg? She’s an incredible inspiration. Thanks!
I wanted to represent a broad spectrum of people so everyone can understand how lingerie is personal, not exclusive. I remember seeing the image and knowing I had to include it in an article- and this ended up being the one.
Just did a reverse image search and found out that her name is “Sarah Reinertsen.”
And you know, you can get luscious lingerie any time. I was at Kohls a week or so ago, and I’ve found some of my more favored pieces there in their sale section (3 for 15 and what not). Just spread purchases out over time, little things for special occasions, and don’t get anything that doesn’t make you feel wonderful- whatever style it is.
Thanks, Elegy! I appreciate you doing the search. Good advice, too, about buying lingerie at department stores. You don’t have to blow a bundle, to score some good deals. You hit on the key: purchasing pieces, that make you feel like you’re channeling Marilyn (either Monroe or Manson – I’m paraphrasing.)
I love this post, Elegy. It is very empowering. I, too, wear things under the professional uniform just so I can remember who I really am when the uniform constricts, restricts and otherwise threatens to alienate me from myself. The layer next to my skin forms a barrier and protects me from becoming hardened to the core, like the power broker the outside world thinks I am. I present that image to the eyes without but the eyes within know a different, true me. You nailed it with, “and the world would be none the wiser”.
What a beautifully written piece! Almost poetic. I love wearing lingerie but must admit I leave it for special occasions – time to bust out the bustier for uni tomorrow!
On a side-note, many of the correlations you made between lingerie and sense of self could also be applied to body mods. Everything you wrote is exactly how I feel about my tattoos and piercings – especially those not visible to the public eye . . .
I love love LOVE lingerie. And not just for the wearing under clothes. I love it in the bedroom… those first few moments when your significant other sees it… and then gets to peel it off of you. Divine.
And I do love the way it makes you feel. I think you can tell the days that women are wearing something pretty underneathe… they glow a little more. Who couldn’t use that self esteem boost?
“On a side-note, many of the correlations you made between lingerie and sense of self could also be applied to body mods. Everything you wrote is exactly how I feel about my tattoos and piercings – especially those not visible to the public eye ”
I agree. Those motivations seem comparable to packing as well.
“My outer wear may be conservative or constricting for a workplace environment that I’ve fought tooth and nail just to be a part of, but my underwear can house a vixen ready to slip away or conquest at a moment’s notice.” Great post Elegy.
Thank you.
The last picture looks like me. Lol joke. I loved this post. What an inpiration Sarah is for posing like that, and she looks really proud. If you have lovely knickers on under your clothing it makes you feel so much better. I think you can predict your day with your underwear. Wearing your favourite pair? Marvellous day. Wearing ones that look like they should be used to collect shells in on the beach? Bad day.
I know that for many women, wearing something special under their clothes makes them feel sexy all day. So I’ve gotten my own sexy underwear and found myself waiting throughout the day for that magic moment. And waiting. Hmm…maybe when I use the restroom and catch sight of those frilly things? Nope. I must be missing something in the female gene department. However, what Grrl wrote about tattoos, that I can see. Although I don’t have any, I think tattoos would have the same affect on me that lingerie has on you. It’s kind of like lingerie with an edge. And I loooove edge.
@Effi -you’re hilarious! And I agree… If you’re wearing Grandma panties that areolder than you are because all your nice stuff is in the wash, you can just tell it’s going to be a worse day….
Or maybe we let it shape our outlook?
Alright, that’s it… I’m throwing all my tighty whitey’s in the trash!
I tend to always wear matching underwear. I don’t even realize most of the time. But then what if I got hit by a bus? Or, what if my boss finally realized that she had to dump her husband because all she wanted to do was have mad passionate sex in the stationary cupbard with me, but then saw I was wearing mismatched massive underwear and called the whole thing off. You have to think about these things.
Haha!
Most of my lingerie is black, so no worry there. I’m not terribly big on matchy-matchy (if I was, I’d want things to match right down to the hue, not just color- and I don’t need more of that kind of stress!), my main concern would just be that the colors don’t clash.
Effi, so glad to see you back and active. I miss you when you’re out there being too busy actually living to grace us with your enlightened presence. That said, Heather, yes, all tighty whities to the bin this instant! I know there are days when you feel like you don’t want to do anything but laze around in shredded granny panties, but you’ll get over it. You just never know when a spontaneous tryst will happen and you don’t want to be caught wearing something that could be fashioned into a sail.