Is the Butch/Femme Dynamic Dying Out?
I remember when I first came out in college, it took me a while to learn how to navigate the LGTBQ community. Especially here in Los Angeles, where clicks are alive and well. But beyond simple clicks of friends, you have very specific types here. When I’m with my gay boys, they talk about twinks, bears, bottoms, tops, switches, butches, femmes, queens and f-boys just to name a few. And if you ask them to describe each type, they’ll have very specific stereotypes for each category.
Lesbians are the same way. Or we were. Are we still?
The friends I’ve had forever still use terms like butch and femme to describe more then just the look but also the role that person naturally plays in relationships. Of course lesbians have other categories, like tomboy, androgynous, soft-ball lesbians, chapstick, lipstick, high-femme, stone butch, stud, stem, etc. But the more and more pansexuality and bisexuality seems to be growing in popularity, and for good reason, the less I’m hearing these terms.
Is Butch and Femme still a thing?? I mean, it must be, because it’s more about energy than looks. I’ve dated butch looking women that had very femme energy and vice versa. So, if you really think about it, the terms we’ve always used, like butch and femme, can still be used. Even in this changing and ever shifting landscape. Because these terms describe an energy about the person, it usually speaks to the role in the relationship that they prefer to be in.
For any of you old-school Butches out there, what are your thoughts on the topic? Do you think that butchness is being replaced? If so with what?
How about my femmes out there? Do you feel that identifying as a Femme is still relevant today?
What terms do you use to describe your particular shade of the rainbow??
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I still absolutely identify as a femme. Some friends even refer to me as high femme or their pretty little straight girl. Sometimes, though, I am very much a switch and am the more dominant one in whatever relationship I am in at the time.
I feel like i need a sign to carry around sometimes that says, “HEY!!!! Gay girl…..right here!!!”
Charisse, I totally feel you! Being invisible as a femme in the LGBTQ community is still frustrating!
Butch and femme are still around! AfterEllen often posts articles from butch and femme perspectives, and not many other publications do. AE is owned by two butch lesbians, self included. AE has both a loyal following and detractors, but we stand for something: lesbians.