You know what I’m talking about. You’re out shopping at Trader Joe’s and the cute, tomboyish checkout girl is dinging your gaydar. You smile, you flirt a little and then you stop yourself. “Oh crap.” You think to yourself, “I think she’s straight!”
You’re double guessing yourself now because she giggled in a really femme, straight-girl kind of way that said you may be making her uncomfortable and she’s so straight she’s not sure if you’re hitting on her either. Then you look around only to confirm your fear, all the other girls that work here are also wearing very dykey outfits. Complete with knife sheath hanging off their belt loop. While Trader Joe girls always set off my gaydar, it’s highly improbable that it’s their hiring policy to ONLY hire lesbians. Which again means, that cute little lesbian bagging groceries probably isn’t a lesbian at all. Booooo.
Trader Joe’s isn’t the only place this happens. It can happen anywhere, anytime, when you least expect it. Straight chicks that look very very gay. I guess it’s the female version of metrosexuals. And like frustrated gay boys that are tired of hitting on straight men in pink. I can feel the pain of my single lesbian sisters.
Remi and I have a game we play every time we go out. “Lesbian or German tourist?” It got very tricky one night when we actually ran into two German tourists that were probably lesbians.
But seriously, how do you single girls deal with all the fake bait? I mean there’s a ton of straight girls running around with funky hair cuts and tatts. That used to be my confirmation that a girl was on our team. But now my smile slowly fades as I see her husband and kids come up behind her in the store. Or watch her kiss her equally tatted up man in a club. What is this world coming too when you can’t tell a person’s sexual orientation just by looking at them???!!!! (Heehee Please insert major sarcasm with that last comment. Especially coming from a lipstick femme like me that has yet to get inked.)
How do you handle unconfirmed lesbian sightings?